Doritos: Late Night Cheeseburger
I'm just going to say, first of all, Dorito bags are not the Ocarina of Time. They are not subject to change the sudden time of day. Second of all, if you're eating Doritos, your fingers are going to get the Cheeto effect (Effect where upon cheese dust becomes attached to the finger prints and does not let go, no matter how much you lick or suck. No pun intended). Then you're going to wipe it all over your dress. Don't eat Doritos before you go clubbing. Third...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BRING A BAG OF DORITOS TO THE CLUB? You're going to be there for three, maybe four at the most hours. If you bring a bag of Doritos, guys will assume you are a fat ass. Are you going to dance with those Doritos in your hands? What happens if the Miley Cyrus song comes on? Do you put your Doritos in the air and say, "Yeah?". Because that is not part of the Miley Cyrus song.
In real life, this girl is 203lbs. She's wearing a stretchy, black cotton dress by Just My Size. Just...leave your Doritos at home.